Sonic the Hedgehog’s been our friend for years
Been through good times, bad times, laughter and tears
So when he told us that he and Amy falled in love
We were like
Oh damn
Oh fuck
Oh shit
Dan and Mazel tov!
He asked “would you guys help me plan the wedding?”
I was so excited that my pants started spreading
We sat down to write out the list of names
Of all the friends who were invited that he’d met in his games
It was quite a long list, longer than we’d expected
Yup!
But we had to get ‘em all, so nobody was disrespected
Like Knuckles, and Tails, and Blaze the Cat
And Rouge, a pair of boobies that’s attached to a bat
But there were lots of others that we hadn’t prepared for
Like Honey
Sticks
Whisper
Tangle
Bark the Polar Bear
Or a swallow named Wave or a hawk named Jet
Ugh, god are we done?
No not remotely yet, bitch!
You cannot be serious
Where did all these characters come from?
I must be delirious
But the list of names has just begun
It’s so mysterious
This seems like a bit of an excess
But they’ll all be cheering us
When this rodent wedding is a huge success
The big day came and the guests arrived
There were four thousand eight hundred seventy five
There was Mighty the Armadillo
And Charmy Bee
And Storm the Albatross
And Ronald the Tree
There was Cream the Rabbit
And Ricardo the Train
Steve the Television
And David the Cumstain
Kathy the Hippo showed up with Randall the Llama
And also Michael the Toilet
And Barack the Obama
“All right everyone”
Eggman suddenly cried
“That damn hedgehog’s knot is gonna get tied”
Everybody looked around, found their seats
As Shadow the Rabbi started to speak
Dearly beloved, we come from near and far
I don’t know or even fuckin’ care who half of you are
But before Sonic could give Amy the ring
Robotnik shot him with a laser
“Let’s do this thing!”
You cannot be serious
Forty-five rings flew in every direction
I must be delirious
The wedding ring mixed in with the collection
Amy looks furious
Things aren’t ever as bad as they seem
Soon she’ll be cheering us
If all Sonic’s friends work as a team
FIND THE RING!!
(chaos ensues)
I DO. Ha, alright!
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