One Sunday morning
The preacher went a-trawling
To the, the House of Fuck
He come a-calling
("L-lo-l-l-love, love the sinner, and uh, and a-scorn the sin!")
("Now goddamn ya, now, let me in!")
Well, my door's always open ("You let me in!")
Sidelong and oblong, you know
For the right and the wrong
And for the fair and the strong
("Crooked is the way, and wide the road to regret!")
("And I, and I come, I come")
Come on in ("I come to give what I get—ah, that, that which sucks")
Have a look ("That, that which fucks")
But I got, uh, couch sluts ("That which slides lubricious")
Of every stripe, sir ("That which kisses")
I got your boys ("That which humps, humps, humps, humps—")
And your girls ("Humps, humps—and, and, and sticks")
And the in-between types ("And licks")
To your tastes, sir ("That which goes in quick, like me")
And even Christ knew a bargain ("Like me!")
When he seen it ("Like me!")
I mean, Magdalene! ("Man—man—")
Jesus H!
Christ! ("Man does not live by flesh alone!")
So to the heart of the hindmost ("But it's a fucking—")
("Start, start, start!")
The drunk, and the reprobate, and the Holy Ghost
I offer the itch that never stops
Never and forever
The ass of always-come-along
Dangling from my knotty tether
An angry bellwether
Of what
Of, uh
What always goes wrong
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