Like my mom's, I-
She's got like, she'll just make statements into this world
That are clearly answers to some sort of cosmic interview
That's been going on since I've been able to form memories
That's the only way I can explain statements
Like you might have somebody in your life
You know that they're in a room by themselves
Nobody's asked them anything, and they're not talking to you
But then you'll just hear something like
Well, that's why they can't make popcorn on the space station, you like
That's not for me to know
That's not for me to know, you tell that one to the ghosts
That trip that they were visiting me
It was a Saturday afternoon, we're all in my apartment
We're all sitting around drinking coffee, ignoring each other, the way it should be
Lack of conversation doesn't mean lack of love
Just let me look at you
And from what my mother says in that absolute silent moment
I can only reverse engineer what this voice may have asked
And the best thing I can put together
The best question, is that this voice just popped up and said
Hey, Deb, because my mom's name is Deb
Because those are the names you get in the Midwest
Single syllable, possibly a verb
My parents' names are Pat and Deb
That has to have been a line dance at one point
We're Pat and Deb
Pat, Pat, Deb, Pat, Pat, Deb
Sidestep Deb, Pat, Pat, you know, come on
My neighbor's names growing up were Chuck and Mert
That's clearly a fly-fishing technique
Chuck it, Mert it back, Mert it
Question
Hey Deb, how do you prefer to have postage delivered to your home?
That's a real weird question
But it's the only one that makes sense
Because in the dead silence of that Saturday
My mother sat down her coffee and just said
I'll tell you one thing, which right there
That's not how you start
That's a retort
It also means you're about to hear several things
Absolute silence, I'll tell you one thing
I would never have a mail slot in my door, only a mailbox
Fuckin' okay
The family said nothing
But the voice clearly wasn't satisfied with that answer, has to follow up like
Well, why is that, Deb? Explain yourself
Then my mom stood up and said
Because if you have a mail slot in your door
Somebody could come by and put snakes in it
She's not wrong
But I'm just sitting there looking at her like
This is the woman you crave acceptance from
Maybe you gotta reassess what you want out of this relationship
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