Well, the other night when I come in drunk as I could be
Found a horse in the stable where my horse ought to be
Now come here little wifey and explain this thing to me
How come a horse in the stable where my horse ought to be?
You blind fool you crazy fool can't you never see
It's only a milk cow your mammy gave to me
Well, I've been around this wide world a thousand times or more
A saddle on a milk cow's back I've never seen before
Well, the next night that I come home drunk as I could be
Found a hat hangin' on the rack where my hat ought to be
Well, come here little wifey and explain this thing to me
How come a hat hangin' on the rack where my hat ought to be?
You blind fool you crazy fool can't you never see
It's only a dishpan your mammy gave to me
Well, I've been around this wide world a thousand times or more
A hat band around a dishpan I've never seen before
Well, the next night that I come home drunk as I could be
Found a head on a pillow where my head ought to be
Now come here little wifey and explain this thing to me
How come a head on a pillow where my head ought to be?
You blind fool you crazy fool can't you never see
It's only a cabbage head your mammy gave to me
Well, I've been around this wide world a thousand times or more
A mustache on a cabbage head I've never seen before
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