I'm ghosting my hometown friends
But none of its on purpose
When I let the guilt sink in
I feel like a bad person
And I know its not my fault
The distance is far too long
But in my defense
They don't call me either
I'm picking up bad habits
And building a tolerance
I'm smoking a cigarette
In the backyards of friends of friends
And I've never felt much hell
Like the burn of my christian guilt
Perpetual sin, it kills
All my fire
Maybe I've tried all that I could
Maybe I've changed or maybe I should
Cause I'm getting tired inside my own skin
So maybe I owe it to myself to forgive
I'm staying up way too late
Forgetting to eat something
Then I underestimate
Quite how much is on my plate
Cause then I'm awake all night
Obsessed with my appetite
Then I wonder why I'm sick
In the morning
Maybe I've tried all that I could
Maybe I've changed or maybe I should
Cause I'm getting tired inside my own skin
So maybe I owe it to myself to forgive
Beat myself up again
Make up some consequence
Knowing that isn't productive or positive
Years of my life I've spent
Craving repentance resenting the fact
That I go back again and again
And again and again and again
And again and again and again
Maybe I've tried all that I could
And again and again"
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